If it’s ever a hot, humid, sunny day, look around you. The hetero women will be decked out in bikinis, but the hetero men will be wearing board shorts. Board shorts, for those of you unfamiliar with them, are longer swimming trunks that go down to the knee, if not past them. (Board shorts are especially inclined to go past the knee for the hetero variety that wear boxers underneath their board shorts and wear the shorts low on the butt.)
Board shorts are the chosen swimming and warm weather apparel of most US American hetero males. You will rarely, if ever, see a hetero male wearing a speedo, square cut shorts, or a thong in public. The reasons for this are all speculative. One theory is that, while hetero males are happy showing off their torso, they are shy about showing off too much leg or skin that is close to their “vulnerable areas.” Showing off one’s inner thigh in America is considered too gay or too European. Perhaps the fear about revealing too much male skin comes from the hetero belief that women’s bodies are beautiful while male bodies are gross or disturbing (which also explains, in part, the high percentage of female nudity in hetero art compared to male nudity).
Board shorts are hetero male’s greatest opportunity to show some flair. While the image here is of simple red board shorts, this style of swimming trunks come in a variety of colors and designs. If you see some particularly flamboyant designs on a hetero male’s board shorts, do not be confused. This person would probably not wear a similar design on his every day pants. While speedos are considered gay, purple floral designs on board shorts are, interestingly enough, not.
You might occasionally see a hetero male wearing other, more revealing swimming apparel. Do not be misled: this is generally not because the hetero male is comfortable with his sexuality or his body. This is probably an ironic joke: “Look how silly it is for a man to wear a speedo.” Hetero males are especially fond of wearing speedos or short shorts when they are dared or when there is a silly game involved.
(image source: flickr)
so… I’m all about the female nudity that hets leave around lying on grass for us more queer than not women… but my dear man consumed by rhetoric: it’s “misled” =]